Don't Forget About Noah

As any second-time parent will tell you, preparing your firstborn for the arrival of the new baby (or in our case babies) can be come an obsession. We first told Noah about the pregnancy when I was 18 weeks along and knew that the girls were healthy and growing normally. After that, both Dan and I spent a lot of time talking to Noah about the babies and how our lives and household would change (for the better) once they arrived. As I often told Noah, he will always be special to me because he was my first baby and my son. And the girls will be special to me because they are girls and my second and third babies. We bought books about being a big brother. We bought him a special shirt to wear at the hospital announcing that he was the big brother. The babies bought Noah a special gift when they were born. It's hard enough going from one child to two, but imagine going from one to three. He's been the center of attention and the center of our world for four years and we've tried to be sensitive to the fact that having twins would be just as much an adjustment for him as us.





But something happened today that I hadn't anticipated. And it's something I should have seen coming.

Dan and I have gradually become accustomed to the attention we attract when we're out as a family. The girls are in that adorable baby stage where all you have to do is look at them and they giggle. We can't go out without someone stopping us to ask if they're twins and to make a fuss. And while it's flattering and well-meaning, it can also be embarrassing. Lately, when strangers approach us I politely smile and keep the conversation short. Last week someone insisted on talking to me about the girls as I was very obviously talking on the phone with someone. So it wasn't a huge surprise when a mom came up to us and started to make a fuss over the twins. I honestly don't remember what she said, but what I do remember is that Noah got upset. I believe his exact words were "what about me?"

What about me is right. I felt so bad for him. He's been protective of his sisters in the past when people have made a fuss over them. Once, at Target, he threw his body over the stroller and loudly announced, "these are MY sisters" when someone approached me. But this was different. He was completely ignored. And he KNEW it. And that's what broke my heart. My beautiful, handsome, smart, funny and precocious little boy was passed over by a perfect stranger because of his sisters.

Noah might look older, and he may have the verbal skills of an older child. But he's still four. And he gets his feelings hurt too. As parents, we do our best to make sure that he always knows that he is loved and that he is an important member of our family. But I am starting to wish that others were cognizant of that fact too. People don't have to fawn over him, and I wouldn't want that. I just wish that when strangers approach us to look at the girls they would take a half second to acknowledge their big brother standing next to me. Our children are all special in their own right, and we love them equally.