Disappointed

I have to be vague here since I have no idea who reads this blog (if anyone). But it's been suggested to me that because I write well I might want to use this forum to talk about my feelings more. So here goes.

I am just really disappointed today. I know that I should be grateful because I have been blessed in so many ways. I have a terrific husband, three gorgeous kids, my health, a job, and roof over my head. But I worry all the time. Especially about money. I feel like I've worked hard my entire life. I went to school, got my degrees (went into debt paying for them), got a job, and do my best every day. And for what? I miss my kids. And we struggle to make ends meet. I can't afford to quit and stay home (we considered it) but paying for daycare for three is just as much a challenge. I know that some of this is the industry that I am in. And I get that. But I feel sometimes that over the last 10 years I've watched everyone I know get ahead professionally and financially and I missed the boat. We don't live in a fancy neighborhood or drive fancy cars. We don't go on vacations or buy extravagant things But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't question why I went to graduate school. Because in the end, what did it yield me? I certainly don't earn much more now than I did without the degrees.

I know that some of this is because of choices I've made. Especially about family. And I know that others have it FAR worse than me right now. But when does it get easier? When do I/we get to catch a break for once? I'm trying to be positive, but damn is it hard. At the end of the day I wonder what's the point of working hard? Is what I'm gaining really worth it?