Commando

Dan took Noah to see the Phoenix Mercury play last night. They had a good time and Noah stood five feet away from Amare Stoudamire and didn’t care because he was focusing on shooting baskets at the Kids Area.

They home from the game around 9:30 p.m. and I wanted to quickly get Noah changed and in bed. As he pulls off his shorts it dawned on me: the kid isn’t wearing any underwear.

Me: “Noah, how come you’re not wearing any underwear?

Noah: “Because Daddy didn’t give me any. Daddy, this is YOUR FAULT” (said while pointing accusingly at Dan).

Dan: “Toby, this is so not my fault. I gave him shorts to wear. He didn’t tell me he needed underwear.”

Here is what I think happened.

Noah came home from camp wearing a bathing suit. In the rush to get ready for the game and get out the door, I asked Dan to give Noah a pair of shorts. Which he did. Except Dan failed to realize that one typically wears underwear with their clothing. . .especially if they are 4.5 and going out in public. So Noah dutifully took off his bathing suit, put on the shorts, and didn’t think to tell his father that he wasn’t wearing underwear. And Dan neglected to ask him because Noah didn’t say anything.

Dan and Noah’s underwear seem to be a reoccurring theme in our household. On more than one occasion Noah has been out in public wearing both boxer shorts AND underwear. How did this happen? Noah often wears boxers as shorts when he sleeps. So when Dan asked him to dress himself, he did. And when Noah came back wearing regular shorts he just assumed that Noah followed directions. It’s 100+ degrees outside and my son is wear three layers of clothing because his father didn’t think it was necessary to “check his work.”

Is this a guy thing? Because honestly, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.