Why AT&T Online Sucks

Where to begin?

About a month ago people started complaining that they couldn’t hear me when I was using my cell phone. The phone worked fine, except for the fact that people said it sounded like I was in a wind tunnel. I went to the store, and the store people told me that the phone had gotten wet (perhaps when one of the girls was using it as a teething toy?) and that I needed to buy a new one. I qualified for a discount on a new phone, and after some research, I found out that I could purchase a refurbished iPhone for $99. Cool, right? WRONG!

Refubs aren’t sold in the store, so I had to purchase it online. But when I tried to purchase the phone online I was told I needed to change my phone number. Which I wasn’t going to do. Plus, the store manager told me that changing my phone number wasn’t necessary. So I called AT&T customer service and spent 45 minutes on the phone with a lovely agent who seemed as though she genuinely wanted to help me. Eventually we worked things out, but the system wouldn’t let her process the order. Apparently I needed to also purchase a special data package for the iPhone. . .but the system was undergoing an upgrade and the package I needed wasn’t available (the system is deisgned so that you can't purchase the phone without a data plan). The agent put all of this in the computer and suggested I call back in a few days. And she apologized profusely. And she might have even meant it.

So I called back yesterday to order my new phone. I spent ONE HOUR AND 45 MINUTES on the phone with AT&T? Why? Because they don’t know their ass from their elbow. Here are the highlights of that conversation:

I asked to speak to a manager.

I can get the iPhone, but it’s not in stock.

I asked to speak to a manager (again).

The iPhone was magically in stock, and I was told I could order it.

I asked to speak to a manager (again).

Half-way through the ordering process it was revealed that I was also purchasing an international data package. Which was twice as expensive as the package I wanted and needed.

I asked to speak to a manager (again).

I was told that due to a “systems upgrade” the data package I wanted wasn’t available and that I should call back another day.

I accused AT&T of pulling a bait and switch and asked to speak to a goddamn manager. Again.

And then I got a manager. Who was utterly useless. Surprise!

By this point I was really trying hard not to completely lose my shit on the phone. And while I appreciate the service agents apologizing over and over and over again, the only thing that was going to make me feel better at this point was getting my f***king phone and not having to talk to the service agent. I demanded that they do something to compensate me for my time. All they offered was a transfer to customer care and a $50 credit. They did offer to overnight the phone to me, but I was going to have to pay for it and they would file for me to be reimbursed. Not my idea of going above and beyond.

Then yet ANOTHER service manager got on the phone. . .thinking they can “fix” this problem. And guess what. . . .they couldn’t get me the phone because of a systems upgrade! No shit? Where have I heard that before?

I am not one to give up easily and I am pretty determined to get what I want. But after almost two hours on the phone I pulled out the white flag and surrendered like France.

Out of desperation I went to the AT&T store and spoke with the manager. Who offered to call AT&T online on my behalf and work out the problem with me. Five minutes into the call I had an epiphany: This was bullshit. And perhaps this was G-d’s way of telling me that I didn’t need an iPhone.

And that my friends, is how I came to own the new Samsung Jack. Doesn’t have a built in iPod or Google Maps, but I think I will live (barely).

And AT&T online still sucks.