Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Where we're at

Haven’t been writing much lately. In a nutshell there, has been a lot going on and by the end of the day I’m so exhausted that all I have the energy to do it sit and watch reality TV because it doesn’t require me to think, which at the end of the day is what I need most.

The biggest news is that we’ve put our house up for sale. There are a lot of factors that have gone into this decision. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 18 months, the housing market nationwide had completely collapsed. As just about every media agency has pointed out, it’s particularly bad in Arizona. We purchased our home in 2006 when the market was still hot. Since then it’s lost about 45% of its value. There is no equity, and we’re “upside down” in our mortgage, meaning the house is worth considerably less than what we paid for. From a business standpoint it will take at least 10-15 years for the home to regain its value, and with our mortgage being what it is, we can’t afford to make the cosmetic changes that we’d like to make. For all these reasons, getting out makes a lot of sense.

The situation is bittersweet. A house is nothing more than four walls, but a home is where family is (at least for me). And yet I find myself looking at the kid’s rooms and thinking about hard Dan and I worked to make the spaces “special” for them. . . and how in a few short weeks these won’t be their rooms any more. I remember how my aunt and I struggled to stencil the quotation above the cribs, knowing that it may be painted over by someone who won’t care (or understand) why it was special to me. And I remember the look on Dan’s face when I told him that we should paint Noah’s room two colors, and how hard he worked to get it done for the “big brother to be.”

I lay awake at night wondering if we have made the right decision, and hoping that 3-5 years down the road we will look back on the situation with relief. I’ve gone through a range of emotions: sadness, relief, stress, anxiety, joy, and disappointment. And for a variety of reasons I feel like I’ve failed my kids. But as a dear friend pointed out, “you would be failing your kids by not doing anything. And you’ve chosen to do something.” Like everything else in life, this decision is a risk but one that I really think (hope) will be worth it in the end. But I am also excited about the possibility of moving to a new house in a new neighborhood. Being closer to friends and in a more “family-friendly” neighborhood.

My biggest challenge at the moment is keeping the house clean and organized 24/7 so that it can be shown. And I’ve got my fingers crossed that we will find a buyer. Once we do, Dan and I will start looking for a new place. And in the meantime, we wait.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

sorry to hear that. But I'm sure you'll a home of your new house.