My dad picked Noah up from preschool yesterday so Dan and I could go see a movie. Since lord knows it will probably be the last (adult) movie we see for a long time.
Anyway, in the car Noah announced that he had to go to the bathroom. And being the prince that Noah is, what Noah wants, Noah gets. So instead of telling him to "hold it" or god forbid pulling over and finding an actual bathroom, my dad pulled the car over and had Noah go to the bathroom on an empty wall near the Olive Garden.
Mind you, this is the same man who would have let my sister and I wet our pants before pulling the car over so we could go to the bathroom a mere three minutes from home. And Noah and my dad were literally three minutes from the house.
Let's recap. My beautiful and very precocious 3.5 and year old was taught by his beloved papa how to do "the one arm hang" in a semi-public place.
We're not country people. We don't live in the middle nowhere. Phoenix is the fifth largest city in the United States. It's not like there aren't bathrooms on every corner. Or McDonald's. Or Starbucks. Or other well-established businesses with high name recognition where one could SURELY find and subsequently use the restroom. Did I mention they were in the Paradise Valley Mall area? No shortage of bathrooms there.
THEN they get back into the car and Noah randomly announces that "he likes girls."
To my dad, Noah's manhood is not in doubt.
When we asked why they didn't just go into the Olive Garden and use the facilities there my dad replied, "Because Noah said he really had to go."
By the way, my mother and I were horrified by this story. Dan chose not to say anything.
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2 comments:
I admit. I am horrified as well! Eek!
Hey, that's what you do. I remember when I was in basic training and someone in my troop needed to go and asked for time to go the restroom at the base (Swear it wasn't me!), the troop commander, a woman, told him "What are you, a chick? There are plenty of trees here!". So that's what you do. Or maybe I don't find this story weird because your dad and I both grew up in the same place.
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